tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72285189648430846592024-03-05T15:12:21.034-08:00Rubenesque and Ravishing.The life and times of a beautiful fat girl.sailor.spectrumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655568776365849556noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7228518964843084659.post-12914776263963783112011-03-22T20:12:00.000-07:002011-03-22T20:14:11.109-07:00So beautiful.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGO1JyfADbgoxKGa9-8HHtgxybWUjg8HcrOJ8apLPL4py-qWsZLT8OjLFtVseRzZzP9uJmAK9s3SxHt8zDYtZBanv512EDiSuQ_L7Bkeu589Oqv6yezUT1X4193H0DSHQNAp3XglUFoRQ/s1600/blue+bbw.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 270px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGO1JyfADbgoxKGa9-8HHtgxybWUjg8HcrOJ8apLPL4py-qWsZLT8OjLFtVseRzZzP9uJmAK9s3SxHt8zDYtZBanv512EDiSuQ_L7Bkeu589Oqv6yezUT1X4193H0DSHQNAp3XglUFoRQ/s400/blue+bbw.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5587108031764503938" border="0" /></a>sailor.spectrumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655568776365849556noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7228518964843084659.post-47751436083026383282011-03-21T23:56:00.000-07:002011-03-21T23:58:11.171-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3l8t6EyAUKxoNVNB9Ul0xgMM9EQlPAWy7iQXgIbpGC2k-Rv4FTMTQ6UpZaUNsLanKlmV_VEsl8YvF7jXjOeyeZNmdXSUmg1rYlOqXwSLVKf0ifWn_gTa7U7JK1JrQGFeIJOi1cy9IlVc/s1600/bodybeautiful.png"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 253px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3l8t6EyAUKxoNVNB9Ul0xgMM9EQlPAWy7iQXgIbpGC2k-Rv4FTMTQ6UpZaUNsLanKlmV_VEsl8YvF7jXjOeyeZNmdXSUmg1rYlOqXwSLVKf0ifWn_gTa7U7JK1JrQGFeIJOi1cy9IlVc/s400/bodybeautiful.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5586794681823402498" border="0" /></a>sailor.spectrumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655568776365849556noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7228518964843084659.post-70337512317415226332011-03-21T23:43:00.000-07:002011-03-21T23:49:18.999-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLpIyWAv2qFSS-pfcMqmZstADmNQDYp9qrc8O7daDFHDoWozoc11p9donqMsXnW5Y9Fa0BdXvPBmyWU09hVg7RFoCYBjytQXZCzpcW88PozSJUOJsU8pA_8uKOJVLW-6S46zgok3Ftupg/s1600/love.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLpIyWAv2qFSS-pfcMqmZstADmNQDYp9qrc8O7daDFHDoWozoc11p9donqMsXnW5Y9Fa0BdXvPBmyWU09hVg7RFoCYBjytQXZCzpcW88PozSJUOJsU8pA_8uKOJVLW-6S46zgok3Ftupg/s400/love.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5586791913916679730" border="0" /></a><br />This is one of my favorite pictures. It's been circulating the internet for a long time and I've always meant to post it here. It's such a powerful image.sailor.spectrumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655568776365849556noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7228518964843084659.post-90643929423048587662011-03-21T23:37:00.000-07:002011-03-21T23:40:20.610-07:00I've come a long way!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_bmrSdPKUGP2rd02uitjzL7STvnPRgVAHdWeQ3dG_5lRerbTDzaSi6vhfU9zLpZADCfmkiozq2iWM04rsW-1JbTi6j5RW3ijkLkC8lEyOMzAYkOOblUd5iPJX0pQe_WP2A-vnvIV30a4/s1600/butterfly-bra-white.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 259px; height: 345px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_bmrSdPKUGP2rd02uitjzL7STvnPRgVAHdWeQ3dG_5lRerbTDzaSi6vhfU9zLpZADCfmkiozq2iWM04rsW-1JbTi6j5RW3ijkLkC8lEyOMzAYkOOblUd5iPJX0pQe_WP2A-vnvIV30a4/s400/butterfly-bra-white.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5586790025102251810" border="0" /></a><br /><p>The other day as I was prancing around our co-ed dressing room shirtless with my floral-print bra being flaunted for the world to see, I came to a conclusion: This whole performing experience has really helped me come to terms with myself. I NEVER in my life would ever consider running around in my underwear in front of ANYONE before express. I’ve now come to realize that we’re all doing the same things, and even though I look different, I’m up there basically doing the same things as the girls I used to wish to look like. =)</p> <p>As I’ve said before, I’m nowhere near actually loving my body, but I’m heading towards being comfortable in my skin.</p>sailor.spectrumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655568776365849556noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7228518964843084659.post-70203886284878294572011-03-21T23:16:00.000-07:002011-03-21T23:29:14.779-07:00Another post I found while browising tumblr. =D (This was NOT written by me!)<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG7r1kYlOPWk8oGgVNDIHbPTPh8ziqdAFG6SMg1mhfpOIFyI0-ya4B3tIPwjm1aqOWP7UBMJmZANK8ejJuiKMe2R6RCT2wz17Gy8sA96dRhU5N51jjcKEZCoWxlALLxp5g8xSFh6KAERM/s1600/fat+blog.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 233px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG7r1kYlOPWk8oGgVNDIHbPTPh8ziqdAFG6SMg1mhfpOIFyI0-ya4B3tIPwjm1aqOWP7UBMJmZANK8ejJuiKMe2R6RCT2wz17Gy8sA96dRhU5N51jjcKEZCoWxlALLxp5g8xSFh6KAERM/s320/fat+blog.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5586787556547379410" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a href="http://stophatingyourbody.tumblr.com/post/3242922438">stophatingyourbody</a>:<blockquote><img src="file:///C:/Users/Khanida/AppData/Local/Temp/moz-screenshot-4.png" alt="" /><p class="MsoNormal">Hey everyone, my name is Ileana, I’m 19 years old. This is actually one of my favorite pictures of me, I’ve grown to love it after learning how to love my imperfections. <span> </span>I must have revised my submission more than 5 times, but after so many drafts I thought I’d just get straight to the point… :)</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Growing up I let my insecurities get the best of me. I stood back while people made fun of my weight, laughed, giggled, and whispered at how big my shirts were, and how wide my thighs were. I was always the tallest in every group, and also the chubbiest. <span> </span>Being the self conscious girl back then, I limited myself from ever having fun, I would go home straight after school because I didn’t want people to look at me, I’d turn down offers to hang out with friends because I never had anything nice to wear, I hated not being able to fit into “skinny girl” clothes, as I would call it, and I would cry everyday thinking that I was somehow cursed. I became very angry at everyone and everything and just became a silent-to herself- girl… At home I would look in the mirror and stare at my body, nobody my age had what I had.. I was sure of that, and coming to that realization made me want to become more isolated from a lot of people. Eventually I grew trust issues and reduced the amount of people I called friends… I trusted no one.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Now as a sophomore in college I look back at my childhood and regret ever letting people get the best of me. I realize I don’t have the perfect body, and I am completely fine with that. I am perfectly content with my thunder thighs, my big butt and everything else on my body. I don’t need to look like a super model and a perfect 10 to have an amazing personality. I am able to hold my head up with pure confidence and walk past a group of skinny girls and not break. We come in all shapes and sizes and that’s what makes us beautiful and unique.<span> </span>It’s mind over matter, those who mind don’t matter , and those who matter don’t mind. As long as we have people who love us for who we are… then what’s there to be unhappy about? I<span> </span>can say I have grown a lot more confident throughout my college experience so far, I am comfortable in my own skin, and will NEVER let anyone tell me otherwise. As we all should :)</p> <p class="MsoNormal"> wonderscome.tumblr.com<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><strong><big><strong></strong></big></strong><strong><big><strong><big><a href="http://stophatingyourbody.tumblr.com/">BE BRAVE! JOIN THE REVOLUTION!</a></big></strong></big></strong></p></blockquote><blockquote><p class="MsoNormal"><strong><big><strong><big><a href="http://stophatingyourbody.tumblr.com/"></a></big></strong></big></strong></p></blockquote><blockquote><p class="MsoNormal"></p></blockquote><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p>sailor.spectrumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655568776365849556noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7228518964843084659.post-34220287053248440512011-01-12T12:14:00.000-08:002011-01-12T12:16:48.521-08:00Relevant<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxql6miA5E_Oo22atuCDoCA8DSTBsPa3w_rSQJrPpyHYP7huaEaEL4tTApMlRyovh6fQfCyg26M4Xi92QiwaxidKDTO51wJIH0NYuGOZ4nGfeoaYUCDsNjHw91JO_c9KyM9T1HJQMxWJc/s1600/I%2527m+fat+fuck+off.gif"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 366px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxql6miA5E_Oo22atuCDoCA8DSTBsPa3w_rSQJrPpyHYP7huaEaEL4tTApMlRyovh6fQfCyg26M4Xi92QiwaxidKDTO51wJIH0NYuGOZ4nGfeoaYUCDsNjHw91JO_c9KyM9T1HJQMxWJc/s400/I%2527m+fat+fuck+off.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5561395438577590930" border="0" /></a>sailor.spectrumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655568776365849556noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7228518964843084659.post-33488311297749605592011-01-12T12:02:00.000-08:002011-01-12T12:05:56.871-08:00I hate feeling like that fat one all the time.<p><a href="http://tltxoxo.tumblr.com/post/2508942107/i-hate-feeling-like-that-fat-one-all-the-time" target="_blank">tltxoxo</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Something’s gotta change.</p> </blockquote> <p>I used to say this all the time, but I’ve come to a place where I can simply embrace who I am and what I look like. I still feel like “that fat one” alot, but I can now feel like “that fat one up there dancing her ass off on stage.”, “that fat one in the totally cute outfit.”, “That fat one with the awesome voice.”, or”that fat one who’s more awesome than most people can ever dream to be.”… or all of those at the same time.</p> <p>And that’s really cool.</p>sailor.spectrumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655568776365849556noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7228518964843084659.post-57712169948467306072011-01-12T11:34:00.001-08:002011-01-12T11:49:29.188-08:00I'm so sorry!!Again, its been SO long since I've written in here.<br /><br />Work has been crazy, though I love what I do. =)<br /><br />I tend to forget about this place when I'm sitting at my computer because I'm so wrapped up in mu tumblr blog. I post many things related to this one, too... Yet I keep on forgetting to transfer them over!<br /><br />Over the next few days, I'm going to be transferring the relevant stuff from my catch-all tumblr account to this one so you can see what I've been doing lately. =D<br /><br />Thanks for your patience!<br /><br />Much love!sailor.spectrumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655568776365849556noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7228518964843084659.post-36037781645189989342010-08-29T19:20:00.000-07:002010-08-29T19:36:54.000-07:00That's not make-up. That's make-believe.<object width="364" height="303"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/gy08vi8bGSE?fs=1&hl=en_US&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6&border=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/gy08vi8bGSE?fs=1&hl=en_US&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="364" height="303"></embed></object><br /><br />This is a great video about body image, and cultural identity sent to me by a good friend of mine.<br /><br />Please take the time to watch it. You won't be sorry. =)<br /><br />Cheers! <3sailor.spectrumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655568776365849556noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7228518964843084659.post-65975088555943809072010-08-25T20:21:00.000-07:002010-08-25T21:18:45.041-07:00So, guys. =)You're reading the words of the newest cast member of Saskatchewan Express.<br /><br />=D<br /><br />That's right. I owned my audition.<br /><br />I feel very accomplished right now. And I'll keep you all updated on my progress.sailor.spectrumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655568776365849556noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7228518964843084659.post-27584908241696134342010-08-11T18:07:00.000-07:002010-08-11T22:01:10.427-07:00Lets take another step towards embracing one's self...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsJdQgsdBiaID7PiB2hlojk9AtKSN2VEEWhiNow40IiGYAJB9_Jzo6mypjGjF_8skOcmk-nCp_5GKw_YIdIFcOGSvp4Pd_o3oYiVin2oTj8A26vFYEQ4EhattTDYPdrU-NQi6yN5aDVQI/s1600/pear+shaped+body.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsJdQgsdBiaID7PiB2hlojk9AtKSN2VEEWhiNow40IiGYAJB9_Jzo6mypjGjF_8skOcmk-nCp_5GKw_YIdIFcOGSvp4Pd_o3oYiVin2oTj8A26vFYEQ4EhattTDYPdrU-NQi6yN5aDVQI/s400/pear+shaped+body.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5504345620597167330" border="0" /></a><br />Measurements.... ICK!<br /><br />I have to send in my measurements for Saskatchewan Express.<br /><br />As we've discussed, I'm trying to love my body, but I'm still not there yet. I have NEVER given my measurements to anyone, and because of this fact, I nearly didn't send in my audition forms.<br /><br />My initial thoughts?<br /><br />"They're going to see my measurements before they hear my voice and see my talent, and they're not going to give me a real chance to show what I can do!"<br /><br />I hyperventilated about this for about two hours before finally talking to some friends.<br /><br />The first friend I talked to was Johnny. His advice was:<br /><blockquote><span style="font-style: italic;">Deep breaths, honey. 38 12 38. There's some measurements for you. Actually...You know what? Just send them in. Remember, the worst they can say is no. And if they don't let you sing? Take 'em to court for blatant discrimination. Get a few thousand dollars out of them. That'll learn 'em good!<blockquote></blockquote><blockquote></blockquote></span></blockquote>Now... I'm not really that kind of person. I'd never take someone to court over something like that. But I could certainly threaten! Either way. It was good advice none the less and it DEFINITELY put a smile on my face! However, I still wasn't convinced. So I went to talk to my friend Brendan, who's done two cast for Sask. Express. His advice was pretty much:<br /><blockquote><span style="font-style: italic;">You can do it. You're a great vocalist, and generally in winter, vocalists win. I have faith that you can do it. And I have faith that you'll get in. You know how you always tell me to have faith in myself? Well now it's your turn.</span><br /></blockquote>Okay. Starting to feel a LITTLE better about this. Next on the chatting roster was Brendan's Girlfriend, and my long-time best friend Dayne. She's just finishing a cast with Saskatchewan Express. One of the things that I love about Dayne, is that she tells things to me straight, because she knows I want the truth. This was no exception. She told me that while she believes I could do it, she's not going to make any promises that the people auditioning me are going to have the same feelings. She explained that the executive director is a woman who was raised as a performer in a time when skinny was everything, and she's very set in her ways. She also gave me a bit more to think about:<br /><blockquote><span style="font-style: italic;">Now... While Carol is the Executive Director, she doesn't get ALL the say. They're not going to be able to deny that you're bigger than the usual performers that they have, I'm not going to lie... But they also won't be able to deny the fact that you have a beautiful voice. I'd say make up some measurements, but then your costumes won't fit. That's the only reason they ask for them, really.<br /><br />I honestly don't know if you'll get in or not, but I know that you certainly won't if you don't even audition. Are they going to judge you on your weight? Or are they going to judge based on your beautiful voice and your ability to move like a queen? Who knows? Not me. But I DO know that you need to try. And I mean... If the job is getting done, who cares what size you are?</span><br /></blockquote>Like I said. I love Dayne. She's a good friend and has always been honest with me.<br /><br />So now, I'm pretty much determined to do this again. I'm back on track. But I didn't even think I OWNED a measuring tape anymore. I thought I'd thrown them all away the last time I had to measure myself, vowing never to do it again. I had mom check the sewing kit.... Oh joy. There's one RIGHT on top. Wonderful.<br /><br />So. It has come to this. The time to measure myself and send in the results. (Maybe I'm not so big and tough after all!!) I rolled the tape back and forth in my hands for about 20 minutes before mom comes into the room and asks why the long face. When I told her, she had a lecture lined up, like moms often do:<br /><blockquote><span style="font-style: italic;">Khanida Simone. (</span>Oh no! Not the middle name!!<span style="font-style: italic;">)Don't you dare be a hypocrite. You preach all these wonderful things about loving your body and owning your curves, and now you're going to let three numbers get in the way of your dream?</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> Nuh uh.</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> It's not like the world's looking at them! It's just the people who need to know for costumes. You know what? I don't want to see you do any more blogging about fat acceptance until you smarten up and stop being a hypocrite. </span><br /></blockquote>Ouch. That hurt. But it was the slap in the face I needed.<br /><br />The defiant little brat inside me took that lecture as a challenge. So after she walked out of the room in a huff, I grabbed the evil measuring tape and took down the numbers. Sure they sting a little bit, but that's what ripping off a band-aid does. I'm taking that one step further and ripping off a bikini wax strip.<br /><br />You've all seen my tummy in all of it's puckered, jiggly glory, so why not give you the three numbers that I've been hemming and hawing about for the last 10 paragraphs?<br /><br /><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">56-53-63</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;">Yeah. That's right. I'm a pear.<br /><br />Take THAT Mom!<br /><br />And here I come, Saskatchewan Express. Take me or leave me.<br /></span></span>sailor.spectrumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655568776365849556noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7228518964843084659.post-44302748988058094552010-08-09T23:53:00.000-07:002010-08-11T16:13:45.643-07:00Pride in every curve, bump, and roll.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEDCvOcxSlSEFobIueSFlcYXf5HZeveM3Lb6FnMSqplUS5pKvnDSa3MSAe54N4MfRmgeaXjSS0pVGeuJx2OpD1G3STgF3yB-X98g1yLKAQJl6TFXVwEUdnaNnJxC8T71ZSpuldZNSAwoc/s1600/IMG_6822.JPG"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEDCvOcxSlSEFobIueSFlcYXf5HZeveM3Lb6FnMSqplUS5pKvnDSa3MSAe54N4MfRmgeaXjSS0pVGeuJx2OpD1G3STgF3yB-X98g1yLKAQJl6TFXVwEUdnaNnJxC8T71ZSpuldZNSAwoc/s320/IMG_6822.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5503673721826635314" border="0" /></a><br /><p style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">I've been a big girl ever since elementary school. I got made fun of a lot, but I think that's what kids do. As I got older, the teasing settled, but my size was still extremely taboo. It got to a point where I never said any words that alluded to my body. My friends didn't either. I never said the word fat. I never said the words rolls, or heavy. I guess I kind of figured that if I didn't say the words, my fat would just... blend away.</p><p style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><br /></p><p style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">I was sadly mistaken. But you know what? About three months after I graduated, I met a Fat Acceptance Activist who helped me become proud of the curves I have. I may not adore the body I live in, but I'm proud of it. It carries me from point A to point B. It's an able body, and it's taken me through a whole lot. It's been there for me through good times and bad times. It's taken me through <span style="font-style: italic;">really</span> rough patches and back again. It's carried me through love, and heartbreak, and everything in between. </p><p style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><br /></p><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">So yeah. I may not love my body fully, but I'm sure as hell proud of what it's been through.</span>sailor.spectrumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655568776365849556noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7228518964843084659.post-34120884375701531452010-08-09T22:43:00.000-07:002010-08-10T00:27:27.626-07:00I'm auditioning for a traveling musical review.<div class="regular_post_body"><p style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">Six month contract.</p><p style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"></p><p style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">D:</p> <p style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><img src="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l6ukbaGdRW1qbd0df.jpg" /></p><p style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><br /></p><p style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">Even though this group is heavy on the choreography, I'm hoping I can do it!</p><p><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">I'm still super nervous about the audition though!!</span><br /></p></div>sailor.spectrumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655568776365849556noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7228518964843084659.post-83668740352740445592010-08-09T19:30:00.000-07:002010-08-09T19:54:18.293-07:00Warning. Mature Content.<span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">So another blog I follow a lot is <a href="http://fuckyeahchubbygirls.tumblr.com/">fuckyeahchubbygirls</a>.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">I read this blog today, and thought I'd share it with you! It's got mature content in the picture and text, just as a warning.</span><br /><br /><blockquote><a style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 102, 255);" href="http://www.purrversatility.blogspot.com/"><img src="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l6tg9vapsu1qzcbebo1_500.jpg" class="photo" alt="My name’s Kitty Stryker. I’m a fat queer sex worker in the UK, and I love my body (most of the time). When I first started doing sex work, I thought I would never make it, because as much as I liked my body, it wasn’t “hot” enough to be a money maker. This was emphasized when, in the US, I was a pro domme working in a house, and never got advertised or booked. Then I moved to the UK, where I thought things wouldn’t be different, but figured I’d try anyway. Wow, was I proved wrong. I learned that as an independent sex worker, not only could I pick and choose my clients, but I was honoured and adored for my curves. I didn’t have to only be sexy as a fetish object, a “bbw”- I was sexy not because of or in spite of my fat, but as a woman comfortable in my skin. It was fantastic. I post this photo from a fun photo shoot with my lover to show other women that it’s awesome to love your body- and it’s ok to have days where you don’t. But don’t let anyone tell you how to feel! If you wanna know what it’s like in my life, check me out at www.purrversatility.blogspot.com" /></a> <div class="caption"><p style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">My name’s Kitty Stryker. I’m a fat queer sex worker in the UK, and I love my body (most of the time). When I first started doing sex work, I thought I would never make it, because as much as I liked my body, it wasn’t “hot” enough to be a money maker. This was emphasized when, in the US, I was a pro domme working in a house, and never got advertised or booked. Then I moved to the UK, where I thought things wouldn’t be different, but figured I’d try anyway.</p> <p style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">Wow, was I proved wrong. I learned that as an independent sex worker, not only could I pick and choose my clients, but I was honoured and adored for my curves. I didn’t have to only be sexy as a fetish object, a “bbw”- I was sexy not because of or in spite of my fat, but as a woman comfortable in my skin. It was fantastic. </p> <p style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">I post this photo from a fun photo shoot with my lover to show other women that it’s awesome to love your body- and it’s ok to have days where you don’t. But don’t let anyone tell you how to feel!</p> <p style="font-style: italic;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">If you wanna know what it’s like in my life, check me out at </span><a href="http://www.purrversatility.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><br /></a></p><p style="font-style: italic;"><a href="http://www.purrversatility.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">www.purrversatility.blogspot.com</a></p><p><br /></p></div></blockquote><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">I just love this woman's confidence. I'm working towards having something like that. I don't mean that I want to be a sex worker, because that's not my goal. Not in the least. But I want to be confident in my body. And her message is awesome! Don't let anyone tell you how to feel!</span>sailor.spectrumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655568776365849556noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7228518964843084659.post-22556657941621639512010-07-15T19:01:00.000-07:002010-07-15T19:03:47.497-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjS3SAhu6Z_eUxTKP2wu8ExPgUEEl1iAAWJ_3atMdGAlXO5tldZc_UMEivrE8GM83h2QnJOz5l1yLqLZUVlgQpJQR3khppCnuZruCmRB_G94duNkihqUEjYxckbu9jhFNhsvn-Sn5xzDA/s1600/color+finished+first+bbw.png"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 335px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjS3SAhu6Z_eUxTKP2wu8ExPgUEEl1iAAWJ_3atMdGAlXO5tldZc_UMEivrE8GM83h2QnJOz5l1yLqLZUVlgQpJQR3khppCnuZruCmRB_G94duNkihqUEjYxckbu9jhFNhsvn-Sn5xzDA/s400/color+finished+first+bbw.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5494318651888704226" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">I've got some more work to do on this, but I figured I'd show it anyways. =D</span>sailor.spectrumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655568776365849556noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7228518964843084659.post-18211027779474632562010-07-15T18:32:00.000-07:002010-07-15T19:00:27.229-07:00Art? I think so. =D<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1zOpDcDPornnlROYORrSdgqgL3kaKFmyPrdzuVnfPhYkv7hxwNfmG641ydi8LlCEPcha6qhLK2HgbnbCrowG4gMNBXSvOhqWPYr9XvOozK7IcF15B-Cp4rrwBbrdX27pkL6MdtTFn39E/s1600/Lexie+Lover.png"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 368px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1zOpDcDPornnlROYORrSdgqgL3kaKFmyPrdzuVnfPhYkv7hxwNfmG641ydi8LlCEPcha6qhLK2HgbnbCrowG4gMNBXSvOhqWPYr9XvOozK7IcF15B-Cp4rrwBbrdX27pkL6MdtTFn39E/s400/Lexie+Lover.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5494311698710058674" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">So, a friend of mine is another BBW. Her name is Lexi Di. She has a blog too! Look to the left! She's over there. Her blog is called the Jellie Roll. =)</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">ANYWAYS.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">I was playing with my new tablet and I drew a picture for her. It's Lexie in Burlesque!!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">BBW use to be very difficult for me to depict in art. I never ended up liking the imperfections that I saw. I always wanted them to be perfect and skinny, just like I wanted to be. I wasn't comfortable enough in my own fat to not find each roll in my art to be unattractive. But now? While I'm not completely comfortable in my skin yet, I'm learning to love the body I have...(hence my theme, here.)</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">So more recently, my art has taken a turn for the bigger. =)</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">I've actually been working on a series of BBW Beauties, so be on the lookout for some of those!</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">This one is done in color as well. I'll post it right now. =)</span>sailor.spectrumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655568776365849556noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7228518964843084659.post-52716565448062872802010-07-01T23:26:00.000-07:002010-07-01T23:59:14.336-07:00Let's start where we need the most work.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoz7dbK1yhijR3cJ95hgn7oErHadXdMc-usqnXQmPmg5WU3ZjLUy3ODS7zMfSgBRg0jWLbJFsk5rYcvIbTfSYmNrmrWPq5mJFjMtduSlNvTmaiG1FPUT3wei8cMTxTTUUu9imhPdGtq4Q/s1600/Picture0009.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoz7dbK1yhijR3cJ95hgn7oErHadXdMc-usqnXQmPmg5WU3ZjLUy3ODS7zMfSgBRg0jWLbJFsk5rYcvIbTfSYmNrmrWPq5mJFjMtduSlNvTmaiG1FPUT3wei8cMTxTTUUu9imhPdGtq4Q/s320/Picture0009.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5489197359723863954" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:130%;"><a style="font-weight: bold;" href="http://thetummyproject.tumblr.com/">The Tummy Project.</a></span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);font-size:100%;" >I've been following that blog on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">tumblr</span> for a while now. I love the stories. I love the fact that these people love their bodies. I love the fact that they put it all out there and stand proud, no matter what size they are. Another thing that I love about these stories and pictures is that most of these people started out just like <span style="font-weight: bold;">me</span>. They had to LEARN to love what they have. So they gave me some inspiration.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">My tummy is my least favorite part of my body, so if I'm going to learn to really love myself, I should probably start getting acquainted with the part of me that I avoid. So! Up in the left hand corner is my tummy. We still don't love each other yet, but we're working on it! I want to eventually have a success story to send into The Tummy Project. I want to be proud of what I have and while I may not always want to flaunt it, I don't want to hate looking in the mirror like I sometimes do.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">So here's to the Tummy Project, and here's to a tummy project of my own! </span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">Cheers!</span><br /><br /><img src="file:///C:/Users/Khanida/Pictures/dark%20things/fl/Picture0009.jpg" alt="" />sailor.spectrumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655568776365849556noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7228518964843084659.post-27476012188815780542010-06-25T23:12:00.000-07:002010-06-25T23:36:49.601-07:00Words to live by.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqB2XexgLVihCsNKavixGKJRRNkZO5-lbzNDo82G_BOgtLV9YcimFkntCrdT2EOGAnvLV45dyIjth81XjS9Wb6ExZDyIL0dJeYIdQd4xvb0z6gSYwv4FcyT_dw1StDQjddZ27QlPW3ags/s1600/hugging-main_full.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 198px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqB2XexgLVihCsNKavixGKJRRNkZO5-lbzNDo82G_BOgtLV9YcimFkntCrdT2EOGAnvLV45dyIjth81XjS9Wb6ExZDyIL0dJeYIdQd4xvb0z6gSYwv4FcyT_dw1StDQjddZ27QlPW3ags/s320/hugging-main_full.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486967608954777730" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUceq4Wg48cxaYy1M99ApUIzDnv4rqHT0711U6FqaiR1nA6ZN1WDkSVhd6mDfDNz9MO1jUBzYAJAZ1UkE43B1edMaZGMpnsjbk7-7IYQbDrEHj8cw7b8FYUUobXWYHspaAOVocmZIT8Zo/s1600/hugging-main_full.jpg"><br /></a><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><blockquote style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><span style="font-size:130%;">"Life isn’t about how many people call you and it’s not about who you’ve dated, are dating, or haven’t dated at all. It’s not about grades, money, clothes, or colleges that accept you or not. Life isn’t about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it’s not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life just isn’t about that. But life is about who you love and who you hurt. It’s about how you feel about yourself. It’s about trust, happiness, and compassion. It’s about sticking up for your friends and replacing inner hate with love. Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance, and building confidence. It’s about what you say and what you mean. It’s about seeing people for who they are and not for what they have. Most of all, it’s about living your life to touch someone else’s."</span></blockquote><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">I found that at <a href="http://fuckyeahconfidence.tumblr.com/">http://fuckyeahconfidence.tumblr.com</a> .</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">It's so very true and I try to live by every word. fuckyeahconfidence is a great blog about learning to love yourself! I read it every day!<br /><br /><br /><br /></span><br /><br /><br /><br /><blockquote></blockquote>sailor.spectrumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655568776365849556noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7228518964843084659.post-66661932973028823742010-06-25T21:55:00.000-07:002010-06-25T23:37:47.289-07:00Isn't it beautiful?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLIvInGS6qcDS4JIZxkC0ant2YaMyoC-DwfMCFDXCFcDULSCx3cJ31ix4812NOq7PPeumr6NHlPbULGvPQtFmCUv4f3n7tbp2VnRFAi034sOWgTCKntws8aiT_SbTgBpqU2BYMewxbuz8/s1600/Gorgeous+bbw+b%26w.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 315px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLIvInGS6qcDS4JIZxkC0ant2YaMyoC-DwfMCFDXCFcDULSCx3cJ31ix4812NOq7PPeumr6NHlPbULGvPQtFmCUv4f3n7tbp2VnRFAi034sOWgTCKntws8aiT_SbTgBpqU2BYMewxbuz8/s320/Gorgeous+bbw+b%26w.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486949835909933074" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 204, 204);">So, I discovered this picture on Tumblr. (Yes. I have a tumblr. If you'd like to know which it is, let me know. =] ) It was on <a href="http://voluptuosity.tumblr.com">http://voluptuosity.tumblr.com</a> . I love this particular blog because pretty much every post is a GORGEOUS picture of a BBW.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(102, 204, 204);">This picture, to me, is SO powerful. I think all big girls should embody this! Keep your head held high and own your body, because it's beautiful.</span>sailor.spectrumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655568776365849556noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7228518964843084659.post-14554821916426243902010-06-25T17:34:00.000-07:002010-06-25T18:40:40.207-07:00New rule.<span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">I shan't ignore this place anymore. =)</span>
<br />
<br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">So I've been doing alot of thinking lately, and I've made a firm decision for the route of this blog.</span>
<br />
<br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">I've been looking at alot of fat acceptance activism blogs in the recent weeks and I've drawn the conclusion that I'm really not fond of the approach alot of them take. Many of them simply focus on the negatives; how the media tears fat people down, how the industry discriminates against us, how people always judge us. They focus on everything WRONG with the fatisphere instead of what's beautiful and RIGHT with it. So instead of talking about the problems we face and always being in battle mode, this blog is going to take a different direction.</span>
<br />
<br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">This is going to be a feel-good fat acceptance blog. ANYTHING negative that I post from here on out will have some sort of happy ending. Or a silver lining.</span>
<br />
<br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 204, 204);">-Khanny <3</span>
<br />sailor.spectrumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655568776365849556noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7228518964843084659.post-5560798357110102562010-05-28T02:01:00.000-07:002010-05-28T02:12:34.723-07:00I think falling in love with yourself is difficult.<span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">I'm trying to learn to love myself in a healthy way. It's really not easy. I mean... anyone can love them selves to the point where they become self-important and arrogant... But to love yourself in such a way that actually makes you a better person?</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">Really. Freakin'. Hard.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">I mean... I try to wake up each morning and compliment myself when I look in the mirror. I try to think positively about my accomplishments. I try to be confident and assertive... but all of these things are harder than they sound! While trying to do all of these things, I finding 5 negatives for each positive that I can come up with.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">I really want to have a healthy relationship with myself. To learn to trust myself and be happy.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">I just didn't expect it to be so difficult.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">But you know, there're these moments where it all comes together. I look in the mirror and I can see beauty and confidence. Not only do I SEE it, I FEEL it.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">Those moments have been rare so far, but they're totally encouraging. In those moments I can feel myself loving.... me. =) And they're worth it. Very much so.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);">I just have to keep it up.</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 102, 255);"><br />-Khanny<3<br /></span>sailor.spectrumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655568776365849556noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7228518964843084659.post-82217792669799066612010-05-18T00:26:00.000-07:002010-05-18T00:41:04.924-07:00OHAI!<span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">Th' name's Khanida. =) Nice to meet you.</span> <br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">A few things about me:</span><br /><br /><br /><ul><li><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">I'm 19 years old.</span></li><li><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">I live in Canada.</span></li><li><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">I am very artistic.</span></li><li><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">I am very musical.</span></li><li><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">I consider myself to be intelligent.</span></li><li><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">I'm slowly falling in love with myself. (In the healthy way.)</span></li><li><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">I am </span><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">fat.</span><br /></li></ul><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">And most importantly:</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span><blockquote><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-style: italic;">I am beautiful.</span></span><br /><br /></blockquote><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);">This little patch of internet is for me to celebrate myself and my journey to a new-found love for my body-- no matter WHAT size it is.</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);"><br />Hope I can bring smiles and inspiration to others out there on the same path!</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 204, 255);"><br />-Khanny. <3<br /></span>sailor.spectrumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655568776365849556noreply@blogger.com1